Inferno
by krv10
Summary: Oneshot. Kimiko is losing an internal struggle with her element. She wants nothing more than to succumb to her emotional urges and explode when she gets mad, but she's terrified of incinerating everything around her. This time, she can't control it.


**DISCLAIMER: I do not own Xiaolin Showdown.**

_Inferno_

I was absolutely _livid_.

After being dismissed by Master Fung, I left the main hall of the temple. I needed to get away from everyone and be alone with my anger so I didn't end up hurting anybody. Again. Because, you know, I'm good at doing that apparently. I snorted.

Back in the main hall, Master Fung had just finished explaining to me that I would be taking up meditation as my new training method. He had explained that my "emotional instability was negatively affecting my elemental abilities as a Xiaolin Dragon." I had stood there seething silently, listening to all the reasons why it was imperative that my training be adjusted.

It was bad enough that Master Fung still thought of me as an unstable teenager, even _after _five years of living at the temple, but now he was going to put me through meditation so I could learn to control myself? As if I haven't been trying since I first arrived here! It was absolutely ridiculous. There's nothing like being told that your anger issues are practically hopeless.

Not even caring about where I was now headed, I stormed aimlessly through the temple as I burned with fury. Rounding a corner, I bumped into Omi and Clay and snapped at them to watch where they were going. I only vaguely registered the astonished looks on their faces as I marched off.

I was so fed up with everything. I put up with five years of Fung's dumb rules, stupid chores and pointless training exercises. Not to mention five years of dealing with Omi, Clay and Raimundo. Regardless of our friendship and camaraderie, the guys' quirks drove me insane.

Oh yeah, speaking of guys, I also happened to be the only girl in the entire temple. All the temple monks are male, all of my teammates are male, and even Dojo is male! At seventeen years old, it was becoming increasingly difficult for me to live in a male-dominated building. Waaay too much testosterone. And because the mentalities of boys and girls differ so much, I never talk to any of my teammates about my thoughts and insecurities. Except maybe Clay, depending on the situation. He was way more mature than Raimundo, and Omi still wouldn't understand, having been raised as naively as he was.

And they wonder why I'm always talking to Keiko on my PDA...

Eventually I found myself in the courtyard, not even knowing how I got there. I picked my favorite tree by the tall cemented wall and began pacing back and forth under it. Blinded with frustration, I could feel myself ready to break. I balled my hands into tight fists, fingernails digging into my palms. The anger was almost too much to handle, and I could feel my elemental energy stir inside me. I needed to do something physical to blow off all this steam.

I heard a rustle of leaves above me and then a light thud as someone dropped to the ground behind me from one of the branches of the tree. I whirled to face whoever it was in full defense mode, my hands already blazing with hot flames.

Raimundo's jade green eyes met my glare as he straightened from his crouch in the grass. He had always been taller than me, but now he towered over me, having gone through a series of major growth spurts in the past five years. The top of my head just barely reached his collarbone.

"What do you want?" I asked tersely, too wound up to relax my defensive posture. This was just great. As if I needed Raimundo's cocky and self-assured ego mixed in with the rest of my problems. The fire in my hands burned brighter.

"I just wanted to see how you were doing," he replied, casually folding his arms across his broad chest and leaning against the tree. Against my better judgment, my eyes traced the toned musculature of his upper body. I mentally berated myself for looking.

Dragging my eyes away from his body and up to his tan face, I slowly straightened from my fighting stance but kept the fire going in my hands as a warning to him. "Don't bother," I said in response, bracing myself for his usual provocations.

But Raimundo said nothing as I glowered at him. He just stood there against the tree and watched me. I waited for a sarcastic comment or some sign that he was going to take advantage of my anger, but his eyes remained calm as he held my stare. His mouth held no trace of its usual smirk. There was no humor, no mockery, and no arrogance in his expression at all. It was eerily uncharacteristic of him, and it only fueled my anger more.

"What's the matter, Pedrosa? Finally run out of comebacks?" I said, watching him wince slightly. He hated it when I used his last name, partially because I couldn't pronounce it correctly with my Japanese accent, but I didn't care at the moment. I really wanted to get rid of all this anger and a fight seemed just as good an outlet as any right then. Maybe a physical fight against him would help me. I looked at his toned body again. He would be a good challenge for me; a couple of weeks had passed since I'd last sparred with him.

Part of me realized the irony of this situation. The tables were turned for once: _I_ was trying to get a rise out of _him._

A spark of insight flashed in his eyes. Understanding my intent, his eyebrows pulled down in disapproval. "Kim." He said my name quietly, pushing off against the tree to stand upright. "Picking a fight with me isn't going to solve anything."

"What the hell do _you_ know?" I snapped, trying to ignore the feeling I got when he said "with me." Regardless, I was getting really irritated with this calm-and-collected Raimundo. Why wasn't he fighting back? Stupid Shoku warrior... The flames in my hands condensed to form two solid fireballs the size of grapefruits. I clutched them tightly. The heat felt good and destructive in my hands. I had so much elemental energy I needed to expel that it was leaking out of my hands almost unconsciously.

His eyes narrowed, but I saw a trace of concern in their green depths. "I don't want to fight."

"I do," I said, narrowing my eyes and sinking back into my crouch again.

"Kimiko." He said my full name this time, and I detected an edge to his voice. The edge he usually gets when he asserts himself as Shoku leader. His expression hardened into one of authority. He meant business. "Listen to yourself," he continued. "Do you really think fighting is going to relieve you of your anger? You need to confront the problem with fists _lowered_. Talk it out first. I came here to try to help you, but you think you can just going to ignore my attempts and jump right into a fight? Uh uh, I don't think so. I want to help you Kim, but you have to let me do it _my_ way."

"Yeah, right," I retorted, furious. "Help me? You've never cared about my emotional climate, so what makes you think I'd believe you when you say that now? When was the last time you've tried to help me? And how did you know I would be _here _in the first place?" I gestured wildly at the tree next to us. My rapid talking was a clear sign that I was really, _really_ annoyed with him.

His expression indefinitely softened as a half-smile crossed his lips. He glanced up at the tree. "You always come here when something's bugging you, girl."

I didn't answer. I couldn't answer. The elemental energy was churning harshly inside me from all these mixed emotions. On the one hand, I was furious at life for obvious reasons, and on the other, I was flattered by Raimundo's attention to detail and his apparent concern for my mental well-being. The two sides were warring with each other, and my elemental energy was reacting to it in a way that I didn't like at all.

I was on the breaking point again, like an anxiety attack was around the corner. I desperately needed to get rid of this elemental energy somehow. It had been building up inside me steadily all this time, but now it was becoming too much. My stomach clenched uneasily.

I wanted that physical release of all my stress, all my anger. It would feel so good to expel it. I wanted to manifest my anger into fire, but I didn't know if I could do that without causing some sort of explosion. But I had no other outlet. Crying never worked for me anymore.

I wrestled once again between myself and my friends. Releasing my fire versus hurting Raimundo. The fireballs in my hands grew larger of their own accord. I needed to expel this energy _now_, but Raimundo was too close...

I constantly struggled between what I needed and what I wanted in life. I _needed_ to defuse my anger by burning things, but I _wanted_ to keep my friends, family, and home safe. They were too important to lose. I never want to become that kind of monster. I don't want destruction to consume me, to become my only purpose in life, but it seemed like it already owned me. It was all I was good for. Fighting power against my adversaries on the battlefield. Brute force to bring them down. Destruction in my wake. I knew that it was my duty to bring down the evil in the world, but it was always at the cost of something.

I always had to choose. Fire versus the fear of potentially hurting others or my surroundings. Luckily I've been able to keep control well enough to ensure the latter doesn't happen, but one day fire _will_ win out over everything, and that thought scared the hell out of me. I could tell that my control was slipping every day. It was slipping _right now._

I couldn't understand how my elemental control had faded so much in the span of only a few minutes, but it was like a switch had been flipped and now I could barely keep the fire reigned in at all. Looks like I was proving Master Fung was right after all; my unstable emotions really did negatively affect my element.

If I didn't do something soon, I would lose control completely.

In a desperate hope for relief, I shot my fireballs straight into the ground, incinerating the grass at my feet, but it didn't ease the tension at all. In a matter of seconds, flames were licking my hands again without any effort on my part.

Too close...

"Rai," I said unsteadily. I was on the verge of telling him to contain the oncoming fiery explosion when I finally let it all out, but I couldn't get the sound out past my throat. The flames were creeping up my arms now. I clenched my jaw muscles in a last-ditch attempt at restraint.

Hearing the change in my tone, Raimundo rushed to my side as I sank to my knees on the charred ground. Tangible heat waves pulsed from my body, but Raimundo knelt next to me with worry in his eyes, ignoring my fiery arms and the heat I was giving off. He held my face in his hands and wiped a stray tear from my cheek with his thumb.

"What's wrong?" His voice was urgent as he tried to figure out what was wrong with me.

"Rai," I said again, looking up to meet his eyes. It took all the control I had left to speak clearly. "I can't contain it anymore…"

I could tell by the understanding in his eyes that he already knew what I was trying to ask him. A smile graced his features that made my heart pound even harder. "_No problemo_."

Raimundo stood up and gently pulled me to my feet. I swayed unsteadily but he caught me. The tension was already too much...

Still supporting me with his arms, he closed his eyes and quickly went Wudai. His entire figure faded to darkness until he was nothing but a black silhouette rimmed in a ring of sky-blue light. He stepped back and took a defensive stance in front of me, ready for the worst. "Go for it."

And I did.

An anguished scream ripped from my throat as all the anger, all the stress, and all the emotion that had built up during the day exploded from my body in a hellish inferno of fire. I just let go of everything. I could feel my core thrumming with intensity as the flames poured from my body like water from a faucet. Fire burst from me in pulsing waves. I could feel my entire body literally burning itself to cinders.

Flames blocked everything. They were all I knew, all that existed in my life at that moment. I could hear nothing but harsh, crackling _whoosh_ sounds as the massive flames of my frustration swirled and spiraled around me, mimicking my roiling emotions inside. Reds and oranges consumed my vision. I felt the fire searing my core, surging through every fiber, incinerating every tendon, muscle, vein, cell...

I had completely lost myself. I couldn't think. All I knew was fire, fire, fire...

I had no idea how long I remained in this state. Seconds felt like hours. The flames just kept coming from me in droves. I didn't know when it would end. Part of my conscious self didn't want it to end at all. It felt good to be who I really was for a change.

To just burn.

Fire…

As the last of the energy was expelled from my body in a final wave of heat, exhaustion swept over me like a tidal wave. I collapsed to my hands and knees, utterly drained. Panting heavily and heart pounding like a war drum, I let my head droop against my chest as my entire body shook with the effort to hold myself up. Somewhere in the midst of the chaos, my ponytails had come undone. My hair now hung in wild black strands around my face, obscuring my vision.

I could feel the intense heat around me. It was hot, even by _my_ standards. I heard the crackling of fire as sound began to register with my brain again, but I could also hear another sound behind it. It was a strong roaring sound, but hollow at the same time, like a whirlwind.

Raising my head and looking up through my tangled hair, I saw the giant mass of fire around me. It swirled upward in a towering cyclone of flames, like a giant hellish tornado. Literally. Eyes wide, I observed the results of my emotional instability.

Though I was weary and shaky, I could no longer feel the tense build-up of elemental power in my body. I had completely depleted my energy levels, but I felt normal again. In control. I no longer had the insatiable impulse to burst into flame, just like I no longer needed an outlet for my stress. I breathed a sigh of relief. It was over.

I let out a shaky breath and watched as the column of fire gradually churned itself into nothingness. A few seconds later, the odd hollow whooshing sound also dissipated. I slowly leaned back so that I sat in a kneeling position, trying not to black out. Looking around me in a daze, the world tilted abnormally and I clutched my head in my hands to help steady myself. I took a slow, deep breath, and surveyed the area.

From where I sat to a radius of about thirty feet out, there was no grass to be seen. All around me in a huge circle was nothing but smoking dirt. All the grass had been virtually vaporized. To my right, the tree that Raimundo had been leaning against earlier had completely burned itself down to a smoldering stump about four feet high. Pounds of dark grey ash lay in a circle at its base.

"Hey."

Startled, I found myself looking into the glowing blue eyes of Raimundo, whose face was mere inches from mine. From out of nowhere, he had taken a knee in the grass in front of me and was now staring at me cautiously.

Wait, blue? That wasn't right. Raimundo's eyes were green… It took me a moment to understand that he was still in Wudai form. I really was out of it...

As if to prove that point, the world tilted again, Raimundo included. I reached out a hand and grasped his shoulder for support. I felt his warm hand close gently over mine. With my surroundings steadying into stillness, I watched his features slowly reappear as he faded out of Wudai form and back into color. Black shadows became brown hair, bronze skin, green eyes.

I cried out in relief and threw my arms around his torso. He was taken aback for a moment, but then he simply chuckled and returned the embrace. His arms were warm around me, which was comforting.

I was so relieved; Raimundo was sitting right here in front of me, completely unhurt. He had faced my unstable outburst, head on, and came back unscathed.

And he faced it to help me.

My heart stuttered as I realized this. Gratitude swelled in my chest and tears spilled from my eyes as I let out a strangled sob.

"Girl, are you crying?" Raimundo asked in astonishment. He pulled away from my hug to look at my face, and I saw that his green eyes were filled with concern.

I laughed weakly at his startled expression and shakily wiped my tears away. "I'm fine, it's just..." I trailed off, unable to continue. All I could do was look at him.

Thankfully, Raimundo didn't press me for an answer. He simply laughed quietly and hugged me tighter, as if he already knew what I couldn't explain.

With a grateful smile, I rested my head against his chest, content for the first time in a long while. He was there for me. He was there from the beginning, and was here with me now, safe. And I let my stress out without hurting him. And without hurting anything else either. Thanks to him.

"Rai, I-"

"Like I said," he whispered into my hair, "_no problemo._"


End file.
